Hey Hon

Thomas Haiworonsky

“Hey Hon?”

“Yeah? What’s up?”

“Why do you love me?”

“Because you’re…”


“Because I do.”


“Because without you, who am I? Just some guy, you know.”

“Great, a marriage of convenience.”

“You know there is more to it than that.”

“I suppose, but why is it that you cannot give me an honest answer?”

“Because it is a hard question to answer, what if I were to ask you how the world spinning relates to each and every step we take?”

“There is no similarity between those two subjects what so ever.”

“No, but you see my point.”



“Where is this coming from, hon?”

“I don’t know!”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, maybe.”


“C’mon, let’s take a seat; we’ve been standing in the foyer for half an hour already.”



“So, where is this coming from?”

“Does it matter, I mean, when was the last time we spoke about this?”

“Spoke about which?


“I was just trying to be funny; you don’t have to take this so seriously. I mean, what are we arguing about? How insecure you are with me?”


“You know, sometimes I wish I were an alcoholic. It would be easier to explain how terrible I am to you.”

“Stop it.”


“Stop it, stop doing this. Do not make this about you, you have always done this.”

“Why won’t you give me a straight answer, what am I doing?”

“You’re being an asshole!”

“I’m sorry! I just wish we could be like we used to be, remember that, the time when we were happy?”

“Yes, I do. Things change Mark, why are you not looking at this objectively. It will only take a few years for everything to be back the way it was, just stop being so stubborn!”

“What does being stubborn have to do with this? I did not make the choice, you did. I’ve been looking at this objectively since day one. You did not speak with me on this, and every day has been me trying to wrap my head around the decision you made.”

“I know I just wanted you to talk to me about it!”

“There you go, we’re talking about it. How could you do it?”


“Answer me!”

“I don’t know.”

“I just did it to feel more confident!”

“Why were you not confident before?”

“Why, like you could’ve done anything.”

“I could have convinced you to change your mind!”



“I’m sorry, it is who you are, and I can’t help that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m just trying to convince myself that it is not my fault, as if I did not cause you to do this.”

“How on earth can it be your fault?”

“I don’t know, but I have to have done something!”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, go for it. How else can I force us to make this worse?”

“Why does it bother you?”

“Because it is not you; you have turned yourself into someone who I did not marry. Hell, we can’t even get into airports now. And I know that you did not do it to hurt me, but it did hurt me.”

“I don’t believe this.”


“How is it fair, that Donald fucking Trump can be POTUS and you can’t even come to grips with my body after the fact?”

“Hon, I just think your tentacle fingers were an odd choice of body modification.”

“Thank you, Jesus Christ.”

“Also, the suction cups are a little weird.”

Thomas Haiworonsky was raised in Grande Prairie from birth and has aspired to create fiction ever since he was a child. HIs hobbies include the over-analysis of film and its eccentricities as well as deciphering the cultural idioms presented within said works.

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